← Back

Relationships

ADHD and Your Relationship

The Coach4U approach and key tools for supporting ADHD-affected couples.

Phase 1

Stabilise

Regulate and anchor

▶

Phase 2

Understand

Explore patterns and identity

▶

Phase 3

Integrate

Practise and embed

▶

Phase 4

Sustain

Maintain and reflect

💪 Strengths-Based Foundation

Gallup CliftonStrengths + Best of Us Tool

• Understand what each partner brings and needs
• Reframe frustration as “strengths under stress”
• Build compassion, appreciation, and identity clarity

💬 Communication and Connection

Imago Dialogue

• Structured conversation for listening, mirroring, validation and empathy
• Moves couples from blame to curiosity and connection

🛡️ Conflict and Repair

The 4 Relationship Killers and antidotes (based on Gottman’s research)

• Recognise and counter criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling
• Pursuer-Avoider pattern awareness and repair
• Conflict regulation and de-escalation strategies

💚 Emotional Safety and Attachment

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

• Recognise emotional responses and unmet needs
• Build capacity for vulnerability and repair

🧠 Brain Awareness and Regulation

Understanding brain-based reactivity

• Normalise fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses
• Learn Baby, Child, Adult, and Observer brain states
• Co-regulation: breathwork, pause cues, shared scripts
• Reduce shame and foster shared understanding

🌿 Presence and Conscious Relating

Crossing the Bridge

• Step into each other’s world with curiosity
• Encourage respectful invitations to connect
• Pause during intensity and respond with calm
• Use appreciation to stay connected

Your pace, your path

All tools are chosen and paced based on each couple’s needs and capacity. The goal is to move from reacting to choosing how you relate, even during stress.