Clarify your perspective on a relationship issue — from your own point of view — before entering a conversation with your partner.
Choose the type of issue that best describes your experience. This is about your side of things — not blame.
Select one, then describe the situation briefly in your own words below.
Describe the situation in a sentence or two — just the facts, no judgements:
In Imago Dialogue, the person who wants to share is called the Sender. Before speaking with your partner, getting clear on what the issue actually is from your own experience — without blame — helps you stay grounded and gives your partner something they can truly respond to.
Select the feelings that are most true for you right now. You can choose more than one.
Try to stay with the feeling itself — not the story around it.
A feeling is a single word: hurt, scared, lonely. A story is an interpretation: “you don’t care,” “you always do this.” Imago Dialogue asks us to share feelings — not stories. This is what allows your partner to truly hear you without becoming defensive.
Every feeling points to a deeper need. Select the one that resonates most strongly for you.
This is where the real conversation lives — beneath the issue and the feeling is a need your partner can respond to.
Imago Relationship Therapy (Hendrix & Hunt) teaches that many relationship conflicts arise from unmet needs that are activated in our closest relationships. Naming your need is not a demand — it is an invitation for your partner to understand you more deeply.
Here is a prepared statement based on what you clarified. Edit it until it feels true — then use it to begin the dialogue with your partner.
In Imago, the Sender formally asks: “Can we have a dialogue?” This specific phrase signals both partners are choosing to enter a safe, structured space together. Your partner responds yes — or names a time that works for them.
The Imago process begins with intention, not urgency. Ask: “Can we have a dialogue?” Your partner can say yes now, or offer a specific time: “Not right now — can we do this after dinner?” Agreeing to a time is just as valid as saying yes immediately.
Once you both agree, share your statement. When you have finished, roles switch — your partner becomes the Sender and you become the Receiver, mirroring them with the same care and presence.