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Relationships

The Safety Check Dialogue

A structured conversation to rebuild trust, one check-in at a time.

Person Rebuilding TrustThe one who breached trust
Their PartnerThe one who was hurt
1
Timing Check

“I would like to do a Safety Check. Is now a good time?”

1
Safety Number

“My safety level today is ___ ”

(Provide a number between 0 and 10)

2
Accountability

“I am sorry for the pain you have felt since our last check-in because of my behaviour. It is not fair and it is not your fault. I want to apologise for when ___ . What is significant about that is ___”

2
Acknowledge

“I felt safest this week when ___”

3
Feelings

“This week, the emotions I felt most were ___”

(More than 3)

3
Feelings

“This week, the emotions I felt most were ___”

4
Express

“I have been learning about myself ___”

(Specific)

4
Express

“I had the hardest time this week when ___”

5
Restoration

“For our restoration I have been ___ and I plan to ___”

5
Requests

“You can help me feel safer by ___”

Remember

Even minimal increases in safety are significant. Moving from a −5 to a −1 is progress worth celebrating. Trust is rebuilt one honest conversation at a time.